Genesis 34: Teenagers and Relationships

Genesis 34:1-2 And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her. Genesis 34:7 And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it: and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth, because he had wrought folly in Israel in lying with Jacob's daughter; which thing ought not to be done.

What a tragic account.  It may well be that Dinah was raped by Shechem, but that is not certain.  "Took" does not always mean "forced" and "defiled" could refer to Dinah losing her virginity to a man that was not her husband.  Further, Shechem otherwise demonstrated good behavior towards Dinah.  A clearer description of an incident of rape can be found in II Samuel 13.  Nevertheless, Shechem's behavior towards this woman was an inexcusable act of lust.  He was wrong.  "It ought not to be done!"  So the answer to the question of "Did Dinah deserve this" the answer is clearly "No."

But if the question is "Did Dinah allow herself to enter into a compromising position," the answer is "Yes, she did."  Dinah left home to see the daughters of the land - what she had at home no longer interested her and she instead sought what was in the world around her.  The fact that she had 11 brothers and no sisters probably didn't encourage her to stay home!  But there was great danger in her leaving the safety of home, the oversight of her parents when she was still a young teenager (about 14 years old) and lacking wisdom in how to do deal with the smooth talking Shechems of the world and the ways of people that didn't know the Lord.  She left the safety of home and found herself in a vulnerable position.  Be cautious of the company your children keep!  Parents ought to know where their children are at all times, who they are with and what they are doing.  There are those that will influence them or take advantage of them!

Psalms 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

Proverbs 4:14-16 Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away. For they sleep not, except they have done mischief; and their sleep is taken away, unless they cause some to fall.

This leads to the point of this blog entry.  What was missing at home that Dinah sought for among the daughters of the land? What were her parents thinking? Where was her mother?  Titus 2:3-5 instructs older women to teach younger women to be discreet and chaste in their behavior.  If Rebekah taught her daughter this truth, perhaps Dinah would not allow herself to enter into a compromising situation.

Further, the heart of children should be towards their parents, not Shechem: Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.  Apparently, Jacob and Rebekah lost the heart of their daughter to the world - Dinah saw something in the world, the daughters of the land, that she was not getting at home.  Perhaps it was love or attention.  Parents should teach their children the Bible at home, spend time doing some fun things with them, teach them how to live life in a God fearing manner to ensure their heart is at home and not for the daughters in the land.  If parents keep the heart of their children, when they are teenagers they will want to talk to their parents instead of looking to get out of the house at every opportunity to run with their pack of friends or look for relationships on the internet.

And when we allow young people to enter into close relationships with the opposite sex, parents risk losing the child's heart to that boyfriend or girlfriend.  Note in v.3 that Shechem romanced Dinah with his kind words.  Shechem had an emotional bond with Dinah that she should have had with her father till she met her husband.  Parents that allow their teenagers to run in the dating scene is dangerous business!

If parents keep the heart of the child, young people will enjoy homelife and not seek for something in this world that will put themselves in a vulnerable position.

Genesis 17-20: What Friends Do

No friendship in the Bible earns as much attention as the friendship between David and Jonathan, Saul’s son. Their loyalty to one another is exemplary. And they communicated well with each other. Friendships are made or broken in large part because of communication practices, how we listen and when we talk.


The origin of Jonathan and David’s friendship is found in Genesis 17 when David slays Goliath. They each wanted to be friends and made a covenant with each other. Jonathan even gave David his weapons and armor. They were considerate and shared. Their friendship was unconditional. They obviously showed themselves friendly toward one another. If one of them wanted to be standoffish, this friendship would never have happened. Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly...

Friends are loyal to one another. David was one of King Saul’s best men, but Saul attacked David’s character and tried to kill him. Who could David run to in this time of despair? Jonathan. Even though Jonathan was Saul’s son, he was a loyal friend.

Friends protect one another. In Genesis 19, Jonathan committed to tell David the truth if King Saul desired to kill David. Jonathan would warn David if needed, even if it meant risking his life and siding with his friend instead of the King. Their friendship was not superficial: Even during these hard times, Jonathan was David’s friend. Jonathan spoke well of David. He did not promise to protect David and then betray him. In Chapter 20, when Saul made false accusation against David, Jonathan risked his own life and his relationship with his father to defend David’s reputation.

Friends Listen and Resolve Differences. In Chapter 20, David tells Jonathan that he is convinced that Saul is trying to kill him. After Saul assured Jonathan that David would not be slain (19:6), Jonathan doesn’t believe his father is still trying to kill David. He’s certain that he would know if his father was trying to kill David. Because they listen to each other they each recognize that they differ in their opinion of King Saul. Jonathan was willing to find out if he was wrong. Together, David and Jonathan determined what to do to solve their differences and find out the truth.

Friends are interested in listening to their friends. Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear [LISTEN], and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.

Friends don’t dominate a conversation with their one pet topic, always bringing the conversation back to their pet topic. That’s not listening. Proverbs 17:27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words... Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

Friends don’t talk over one another. That’s not listening. Friends don’t try to “one up” each other: always feel they have to have something more important or better to say, prove a point that’s already been proven. That’s not listening. Friends don’t try to maintain they know everything. That’s not listening.

Friends encourage spiritual growth. In Chapter 23, we read that “Jonathan strengthened David’s hand in God,” meaning Jonathan sought to encourage David in his walk with the Lord. David was distressed and Jonathan reminded David of the Lord. Friends care about the spiritual well being of each other. A friend won’t:

1. Persuade you to forsake church attendance

2. Persuade you to forsake Bible reading

3. Turn you against your Pastor

4. Turn you against church members

5. Turn you against God

Proverbs 19:27 Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge. A friend will encourage you to do more for the Lord, walk closely with God and have strong relationships at church.

Do you not have friendships like you desire? Do you want to be a better friend?  Be careful how you listen and talk.  Resolve differences.  Be loyal and seek to protect friends.

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Genesis 29: Husbands, Love Your Wife

Genesis 29:20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.

What does the Bible say regarding the love a husband should have for their wife?  In Genesis 29:20, we read that Jacob worked a hard labor job for seven years without pay to earn Rachel's hand in marriage.  And because of the love Jacob had for Rachel, those seven years seemed like but a few days. In other words, his love for the woman who would be his wife was so great that seven years of unpaid labor seemed like a very small sacrifice. What a testimony!

There ought to be real love in the marital relationship and it starts with husbands. We find three occasions in the Bible where husbands are commanded to love their wives:

Husbands should love their wives sacrificially: Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it...  Husbands should be willing to make sacrifices for the one they say they love.

Husbands should love their wives and care for her as they care for their own selves: Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Husbands, we don’t ignore ourselves, hurt ourselves or give ourselves the silent treatment. Don’t do that to your wife.

Husbands should not have wrong attitudes toward their wife: Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  A husband that loves his wife will not be angry, bitter and resentful towards her.

Husbands, Jacob loved his wife and proved it.  Now it's your turn.

John 8: Conviction of the Conscience

In John 8:1-11, the Pharisees bring a woman that is caught in the act of adultery to Jesus.  The Pharisees knew the law condemned adultery, but they also knew Jesus liked to forgive sinners.  They hoped to accuse Jesus of forgiving someone that was condemned under the law and then deny that He is the Son of God because he contradicted the law.

Jesus responded that the one that was without sin should cast the first stone at the woman.  In v.9, we learn that the conscience of these Pharisees and Scribes was convicted.  In the light of their sin being revealed, they realized they were sinners and one by one, they walked away.

Conviction of the conscience is only valuable if it is followed by action.  When we are confronted by truths in God's Word that reveal our own sin and the need to repent and change, we ought to heed that warning.  What if the Pharisees ignored the conviction of their conscience and stoned the woman anyway?  We would observe their behavior and proclaim that they were very foolish and arrogant for ignoring the conviction of their own conscience.  But do we have the same indignation toward ourselves when we ignore the conviction of our own conscience?  How foolish we are if we should be confronted with the truth of our sin and need for Christ or our need to change and ignore it!

Jesus did not ignore the woman's sin either.  Any kind of sexual activity outside of marriage is sin and Jesus makes no exception here - he tells the woman to "go and sin no more."  Consider her plight:  Under the law, she was condemned.  But Jesus forgave her sin.  How ungrateful she would be if she then returned to the same sinful life she was just delivered from!  Let's heed the conviction of the conscience and appreciate the grace of God by living a life pleasing to the Lord.