The origin of Jonathan and David’s friendship is found in Genesis 17 when David slays Goliath. They each wanted to be friends and made a covenant with each other. Jonathan even gave David his weapons and armor. They were considerate and shared. Their friendship was unconditional. They obviously showed themselves friendly toward one another. If one of them wanted to be standoffish, this friendship would never have happened. Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly...
Friends are loyal to one another. David was one of King Saul’s best men, but Saul attacked David’s character and tried to kill him. Who could David run to in this time of despair? Jonathan. Even though Jonathan was Saul’s son, he was a loyal friend.
Friends protect one another. In Genesis 19, Jonathan committed to tell David the truth if King Saul desired to kill David. Jonathan would warn David if needed, even if it meant risking his life and siding with his friend instead of the King. Their friendship was not superficial: Even during these hard times, Jonathan was David’s friend. Jonathan spoke well of David. He did not promise to protect David and then betray him. In Chapter 20, when Saul made false accusation against David, Jonathan risked his own life and his relationship with his father to defend David’s reputation.
Friends Listen and Resolve Differences. In Chapter 20, David tells Jonathan that he is convinced that Saul is trying to kill him. After Saul assured Jonathan that David would not be slain (19:6), Jonathan doesn’t believe his father is still trying to kill David. He’s certain that he would know if his father was trying to kill David. Because they listen to each other they each recognize that they differ in their opinion of King Saul. Jonathan was willing to find out if he was wrong. Together, David and Jonathan determined what to do to solve their differences and find out the truth.
Friends are interested in listening to their friends. Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear [LISTEN], and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.
Friends don’t dominate a conversation with their one pet topic, always bringing the conversation back to their pet topic. That’s not listening. Proverbs 17:27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words... Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.
Friends don’t talk over one another. That’s not listening. Friends don’t try to “one up” each other: always feel they have to have something more important or better to say, prove a point that’s already been proven. That’s not listening. Friends don’t try to maintain they know everything. That’s not listening.
Friends encourage spiritual growth. In Chapter 23, we read that “Jonathan strengthened David’s hand in God,” meaning Jonathan sought to encourage David in his walk with the Lord. David was distressed and Jonathan reminded David of the Lord. Friends care about the spiritual well being of each other. A friend won’t:
1. Persuade you to forsake church attendance
2. Persuade you to forsake Bible reading
3. Turn you against your Pastor
4. Turn you against church members
5. Turn you against God
Proverbs 19:27 Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge. A friend will encourage you to do more for the Lord, walk closely with God and have strong relationships at church.
Do you not have friendships like you desire? Do you want to be a better friend? Be careful how you listen and talk. Resolve differences. Be loyal and seek to protect friends.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
